A Completely, Wholly Fascinating Wonder Woman in Business, Betsy Munnell

Elizabeth “Betsy” Munnell

She is a Harvard College and Harvard Law School graduate, a wife, a mother of three, a sister, an aunt, a godmother and now, my friend. I had the great and distinct pleasure of chatting with Betsy Munnell on our “Wonder Women in Business” podcast today — but why? Why Betsy?

You see, I had connected on LinkedIn with Betsy because she reached out to say she liked what I was doing to move the needle for women in business, specifically in legal. I was touched by her support and we agreed to have a phone conversation. It was one of the most amazing phone conversations I have ever had.

Betsy lives in New England, where my son was born, and where my friends and some family still reside. It was my home was for nearly twelve of the most powerful, life-changing years of my fifty-two. We have a lot in common. We enjoy much of the same humor and we share many of the same pains. Betsy and I spoke of her years as a supremely successful practicing lawyer and my years in financial services.

This woman, Betsy Munnell, is quite fascinating. Beyond quite, frankly. As I journey through this new venture of lifting women up, I am connecting with some of the most authentic, colorful, creative, brilliant female minds I have ever come to know. Betsy is one of these women. She is a rare gem, who, while raising three children with her husband (also a lawyer), caring for aging parents, and recovering from a mid-career diagnosis of bipolar disorder, still built and grew a robust and successful transactional law practice. Some of her fondest memories are of those years in practice, before she had any idea she would have the good fortune to found and grow a firm of her own in business development coaching.

I believe that in a setting such as the practice of law at one of the country’s finest firms and then her own, Betsy was a survivor. She has endured some of life’s greatest challenges and come out on the other side, a stronger woman, living by example for others.

In her recent LinkedIn article, Betsy writes:

I am a lawyer, and now also an advisor to other lawyers. I have led a rich life. A lucky life. A good life.

Over the past eight years I have deployed all the hard won skills, savvy and wisdom accumulated in these many roles to become the best of the best in a new role, and in my third-- most meaningful-- career.

I am a patient advocate. I have neither business cards nor website. I have only one client. I provide my services pro bono but am richly compensated. I am very good at what I do.

The story that follows is a heart-wrenching tale of her courageous journey as a patient advocate for her husband, best friend, soul mate. The tale, as told by Betsy, will move you, I am sure. It is a tale of resilience and restraint, of living in gratitude as a coping mechanism, and of, as Betsy puts it, “Taking pleasure — every day, all day — in doing the job better, and being braver and tougher, than you ever thought possible.”

I had the pleasure of interviewing Betsy for this podcast. She is all abuzz and “on” the entire time. Her energy is high and her enthusiasm, infectious. I hope you enjoy the podcast as much as I did. Betsy is clearly worthy of the title, “Wonder Woman,” of this I am sure.

Enjoy the podcast.

Wonder Women in Business, Betsy Munnell

Elizabeth “Betsy” Munnell is a business development coach and consultant for lawyers and law firms. She is also the co-creator of a case study driven business skills training program for law firm associates.  Before forming EHMunnell in '09 she practiced law for 30 years, 24 as a partner at Edwards Angell Palmer & Dodge (now Locke Lord LLP), where she was one of the founders of EAPD's Boston office and its nationally recognized media and communications debt finance, private equity and M&A industry practice group. Betsy serves on the Board of the ABA’s Career Center. She is a graduate of Harvard College and Harvard law School.

Betsy can be reached at:

EHMunnell
Cambridge, Massachusetts
617.596.9031 | emunnell@ehmunnell.com
Website | Twitter | Facebook | LinkedIn | Blog

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To Emoji or Not to Emoji, That is the Question :-)

Emoticons in authentic workplace emails do not primarily indicate writers' emotions. Rather, they provide information about how an utterance is supposed to be interpreted. Emoticons function as contextualization cues, which serve to organize interpersonal relations in written interaction.  

Emoticons Serve Various Communicative Functions

First, when following signatures, emoticons function as markers of a positive attitude. Second, when following utterances that are intended to be interpreted as humorous, they are joke/irony markers. Third, they are hedges: when following expressive speech acts (such as thanks, greetings, etc.) they function as strengtheners and when following directives (such as requests, corrections, etc.) they function as softeners.

The word “emoticon,” a construction of the words “emotion” and “icon,” refers to graphic representations of facial expressions, which often follow utterances in written computer‐mediated communication (CMC). Emoticons may be produced by ASCII symbols (:‐)) or by “pictograms,” which are graphic symbols (). The emoticon was first used in written text in 1982 by computer scientist Scott E. Fahlman at Carnegie Mellon University in the United States. Fahlman suggested that the keyboard‐based “smiley” face :‐) and the “frowny” face :‐(could be used to identify jokes in a computer scientist discussion forum. The overall aim was to economize computer‐mediated interaction.

Within the last 30 years, emoticons have developed different forms and meanings, and a growing number of forms accompany different types of chat software. Still, using emoticons in CMC has traditionally been viewed as a typically teenage phenomenon. Emoticons have also been considered superfluous and a waste of bandwidth. Not surprisingly formal guidelines for computer‐mediated communication or “netiquettes” advise writers to limit their use of emoticons in workplace communication. Furthermore, such guidelines tend to be colored by the author's personal values rather than reflecting the actual use and communicative functions of emoticons. In the popular press and media, emoticons are banned by some authors.

Emoticons as a semiotic resource in email communication is used systematically to modify speech acts, and thus has developed new and more specific functions compared with those first proposed by Fahlman in 1984. The communicative functions of emoticons in a way that has not been done in previous research. Emoticons represent a multifunctional semiotic resource available to email writers, who can use them both to contextualize discourse and to organize social relationships.

Use of Emoticons in Email

Research on the use of emoticons in email over the years has addressed various issues including the differences in usage between men and women. Most agree emoticons are graphic signs which are used to indicate an emotional state. Most assume that emoticons are used to compensate for the lack of nonverbal communication cues, such as facial expressions, intonation, gestures, and other bodily indicators, in CMC. In other words, emoticons are perceived as providing support to written communication, in the same way that visual and body language support face‐to‐face communication.

In the field of linguistics, emoticons are primarily viewed as emotion markers. Renowned linguist David Crystal defines emoticons as a “combination of keyboard characters designed to show an emotional facial expression.” Furthermore, he proposes that emoticons seem to have a “purely pragmatic force – acting as a warning to the recipient(s) that the sender is worried about the effect a sentence might have.”

The first study on emoticons was conducted in 1995 by Rezabeck and Cochenour (1995); it examined the frequency, variety, and usage patterns of emoticons in four listservs. The frequency of emoticons varied within the four listservs, and in the listserv with the highest score, every fourth message contained an emoticon. The most frequently occurring emoticon was the traditional smiley, :‐), followed by the smiley without a “nose,”:). The use of the smiley depended on individual preferences and varied according to the context.

Previous research has also been interested in differences between genders in the use of emoticons. In a study of emoticon use in online newsgroups, Women used emoticons more often than men did. This finding correlates with the previously concluded notion that women produced three times more emoticons of smiling and laughter than men. Emoticons can serve some of the same functions as nonverbal behavior. In particular, emoticons can complement and enhance the verbal message, but they are not able to contradict it.

The pragmatic function of emoticons was examined by Dresner and Herring (2010), and the examination suggests that emoticons serve two primary functions:

(1)   They function as indicators of emotion, and

(2)   they function as indicators of “nonemotional meaning, mapped conventionally onto facial expression.”

For example, the use of emoticons as indicating a joke is done by inserting a wink: ;‐). The wink is not signaling emotion; rather, it is conventionally indicating a joking intent.

In Summary

Emoticons are graphic signs which, in interplay with verbal utterances, serve different communicative functions, not necessarily limited to a show of emotion on the part of the sender but necessarily an assurance by the sender that the receiver understands the sender’s intent.

How do you feel about emoticons in work emails?

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Gender Differences in Communication Styles

It’s been said that men and women are so different, they must be from different planets. John Gray’s famous book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, popularized this theory through the title alone, even with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

In reality, we all come from Earth, but men and women do have diverse ways of speaking, thinking and communicating overall. Just think of how you would respond to a particular stimulus and how someone of the opposite sex might respond if faced with the same situation. Through extensive research of the genders, many differences have been found.

Most people, though, don’t look deeper into why there’s a difference. Rather, they magnify stereotypes or focus on the surface-level issues instead of digging deeper into why the genders act one way or another.

The Purpose of Communication

Growing up, boys and girls are often segregated, restricting them to socialize solely with individuals of their own gender, learning a distinct culture as well as their gender’s norms.

This results in differences in communication between men and women, inclining both genders to communicate for contrasting reasons. For example, men are more likely to communicate as a way to maintain their status and independence, while women tend to view communication as a path to create friendships and build relationships.

For men, communication is a way to negotiate power, seek wins, avoid failure and offer advice, among other things. For women, communication is a way to get closer, seek understanding and find equality or symmetry.

Much of this communication takes place using nonverbal cues. More than half (~70%) of all communication in conversation is done so in nonverbal form.

Gender Differences in Nonverbal Cues

Nonverbal communication is integral to how we communicate. But each gender uses different nonverbal cues when communicating.

Facial Expressions

Our faces can demonstrate more than 10,000 facial expressions. But men overall use fewer facial expressions than women. Men also smile less. Women tend to rely heavily on facial expressions, including head nodding and eye contact because, as children, they were taught “more appeasement body language” according to Science of People.

Paralanguage

Defined as “the nonlexical component of communication by speech, for example intonation, pitch and speed of speaking, hesitation noises, gesture and facial expression,” paralanguage is used by women much more than men. This includes gesturing noises such as “mhm,” “ah” and “oh,” as well as head nodding. These gestures are a way to convey, “I am listening and understanding what you’re saying,” without actually saying it. Men also use paralanguage during communication, but do so less frequently, and it’s usually just to confirm someone’s comment or to say, “I agree.”

Physical Space

Men are much more likely to command and use personal space than women. Men often prefer face-to-face communication, with the opportunity to shake hands or pat someone’s shoulder. Women are usually comfortable speaking with someone side by side and are more comfortable being in close proximity with other women.

Touch

While there are some differences between how men and women communicate through physical touch, there are plenty of similarities because of our genetic makeup. Usually, men use pats, back slaps and shoulder touches as a way to display dominance. Men will use an introductory handshake to set the tone for communication to come. Women, on the other hand, may reach out and touch someone’s arm or offer a hug to build a connection and show support. Researcher Paul Zak, however, found that touch releases a hormone in our brains called oxytocin, Science of People reports.

Posture

Men typically have wider postures and stand with their arms farther away from their bodies and legs apart. Women are more likely to keep their arms closer to their bodies and cross their legs.

Gestures

According to research on nonverbal communication, women learn during childhood to “align their bodies to face the other person” and sit still while using more hand gestures. Women’s gestures are also typically more fluid. Men, meanwhile, use sharp, directed movements.

Eye Contact

Women typically use more direct eye contact during communication in order to make a strong connection and develop a relationship. Men, however, use eye contact most commonly as a challenge of power or position.

Overcoming Misunderstandings

The communication process is complex, and adding gender differences into the mix only complicates it more. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t better understand how we communicate.

Women are different from men as a result of belonging to different subcultures — and vice versa. When one gender understands the other’s subcultures and reasons for expressing themselves in certain ways, communication can be improved.

The purpose of gender communication is not to change another’s communication style but to understand and adapt to it.

Here are a few tips for overcoming misunderstandings between genders, especially in the workplace or social settings:

Don’t Fall Victim to Stereotypes

Not everyone fits into the generalizations about men and women. Whether it’s your genetic makeup or the environment you were raised in, many factors can dictate how you act. People may vary widely from the norms.

Stay Aware

Understand that men and women have different communication styles. Do not be offended when a person of the opposite gender responds or acts in a way different from what you were expecting.

Be Aware

Note that you may be subconsciously pushing stereotypes and biases that stifle open communication between genders.

Recognize

There are many distinct styles of leadership and strength in communication.

Get Information

Learn about the different styles of communication used by men and women and seek to understand the context for both genders. Don’t be afraid to recognize differences and adapt your style of communication to someone else’s.

Become a Leader

With your knowledge of the differences in communication between genders, you can effectively manage and work in a diverse environment and create lasting relationships that will help you along the way. If you’re in the legal marketing, you likely know Heather Morse. I recommend you follow her blog, “The Legal Watercooler” and her “if you read only one thing” posts on social media as she shares some powerful leadership best practices. I learn something new nearly every read.

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Hashtag: Be A Roy Sexton

Roy

Sexton

#BeaRoySexton

Podcast Here

Enjoy our conversation!

Tell me a little about your background and the services you offer:

I’ve worked in health care and legal – strategic planning, communications, and marketing. While I have a theatre background (and an MA in theatre from Ohio State), I also hold my MBA from University of Michigan, and I think my career has been defined by helping companies define their brand through narrative and audience. If you think about marketing, it is really storytelling and, more importantly, connecting the right audiences with the narratives that mean the most to them.

My current firm and the one I’m joining are both corporate firms. Kerr Russell has the unique attribute that 20% of the attorneys are also CPAs so they have an interesting consultative approach to the work, and Clark Hill has been in such a growth mode with a strong leadership commitment to redefining the way legal services are delivered. It’s exciting stuff! 

What compelled you to get into legal marketing in the first place?

I truly enjoy helping attorneys find their brand voice and positioning. I think marketing strategy can be a lot of fun in a professional services environment.

What are a few things lawyers should know?

1. I hope that I can help them find their individual and firmwide point of view - one that differentiates them from their competition

2. Don't be discouraged after a few attempts that don't seem to succeed - we are creating a presence and awareness that will yield dividends

3. There is no silver bullet - it takes time to market yourself

If lawyers do not use your services, what might they expect?

No one will know who they are or how special they are. I love telling their stories and helping people discover what makes them tick.

What actionable advice or tips can you give lawyers?

Be patient. Listen to those with experience in areas that are new or foreign to you. Don’t be afraid to be your authentic self. People WILL respond.         

It’s been said that you are quite the digital influencer and I would agree. Heather Morse wrote about you in her blog, “The Legal Watercooler” seen here: The Roy Sexton Effect or How to win friends and influence content?

How can people get in touch with you?

Connect with me on social media and check out my website: 

Look for Roy on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and his website: www.reelroyreviews.com

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 About Roy Sexton

Roy Sexton is responsible for leading Kerr Russell's marketing, business development, communications, and strategic planning efforts. He has nearly 20 years of experience in marketing, communications, business development, and strategic planning, having worked at Deloitte Consulting, Oakwood Healthcare (now Beaumont), Trott Law (formerly Trott & Trott), and St. Joseph Mercy Health System. He has been heavily involved regionally and nationally in the Legal Marketing Association as a board member, content expert, and presenter. He is treasurer-elect currently for the Legal Marketing Association’s Midwest Regional Board of Directors. He was named a Michigan Lawyers Weekly "Unsung Legal Hero" in 2018.

He earned his Bachelor’s degree from Wabash College, and holds two masters degrees: an MA in theatre from The Ohio State University and an MBA from the University of Michigan. He is a graduate of Leadership Detroit and Leadership A2Y, was a governor-appointed member of the Michigan Council of Labor and Economic Growth, and was appointed to the Michigan Mortgage Lenders Association Board of Governors in 2012. He served as an at-large member of LMA's Midwest Regional Board, served on the advisory committee for Strategies Magazine, and was a member of the Social Media SIG steering group. He has been involved on the following nonprofit boards and committees: First Step, Michigan Quality Council, National MS Society, ASPCA, Wabash College Southeast Michigan Alumni Association, Penny Seats Theatre Company and the Spotlight Players. He currently sits on the boards of Ronald McDonald House Charities of Ann Arbor, Royal Starr Film Festival, Mosaic Youth Theatre of Detroit, and encoremichigan.com. He is a published author with two books Reel Roy Reviews, Volume 1 and Reel Roy Reviews Volume 2.

#BeaRoySexton

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Abracadabra! What once was is no more. Why are mid-size firms disappearing?

Why are mid-size firms disappearing?

Major shifts in the legal market place, an individualistic (where siloes exist) firm culture where lawyers hoard clients and information, and fewer lawyers retiring are just some of the reasons.

A shift in the market cannot be ignored. Some consumer market segments are disappearing or are already gone. For example, simple legal documents are frequently provided by Internet legal rather than an actual attorney. A great deal of defense work is now done by young lawyers out of law school rather that senior partners. Clients are not willing to pay higher fees for work a new lawyer can and will do for less; business clients are savvier in the digital age. Some smaller companies have gone out of business, merged with a larger company or simply don’t have the cash to expend on legal fees. Firms that fail to offer alternative fees or even budgets will not be in practice for long as client demands grow and change.

Shared basic assumptions are deeply embedded, taken-for-granted behaviors, which are usually unconscious, but constitute the essence of culture. These assumptions are typically so well-integrated in the office dynamic that they are hard to recognize from within. Simply put, culture is the way a law firm does things. A clearly-defined culture lets employees know what is expected of them. It also lets employees know what to expect from the organization. A clearly-defined culture provides valuable clues about how to navigate the culture — and how to achieve success. Most law firms today are hierarchical in their partnership set up: senior partners, junior partners, associates, paralegals, clerks, and other staff. The partnership culture that permeates the legal arena must change.

Strong management will make the tough but smart decisions. While some firms have executive committees comprised of partners with strong business backgrounds, most mid-size firms do not. The traditional “country club” law firm structure does not align with the current market-driven management (post-2008 financial crisis). A practice of law that fails to hire business people and if they do, fails to let them manage the firm but a business of law embraces business processes and client-centric behaviors and attitudes. These failures are reasons mid-size firms are disappearing. 

People who come from the corporate world are often jaw-dropped when they go to work at a law firm. They often find a lack of clear hierarchy, reporting lines and accountability, even among the partner/owners of the firm. This culture is highly disciplined and the structure is vertically integrated — and as such, very difficult to change. This lawyer-centric model tends to organize by functional departments, such as by practice areas like tax, litigation, transactions, labor and employment, rather than using a horizontal structure based on industry, with teams prepared to meet all the various needs of clients within the industry — evidence of a client-centric culture. Here is where one might find a practice leader who favors the interest of his practice area over that of the firm as a whole, and thereby limits their responsiveness to firm business development. Further, since the marketing, business development, and delivery of firm services must overlap, this practice culture cannot realistically compartmentalize these roles and functions into rigidly defined and sequential tasks.

This type of practice culture does not foster innovation, and if new problems arise for which it is ill-prepared, the whole firm suffers. Each firm has a personality of characteristics that can’t be ignored, but can be very difficult to articulate. Generally, however, there is a partnership set-up made of traits common to many law firms. In this arena, decision-making is extremely slow. Some partners are more equal than others, and in many firms almost anyone or any group can stand in the way of action, even if they do not have the power to force approval or move ahead. Lawyers are competitive but risk-averse, task-oriented and results-oriented in their work — but their governance may display serious paralysis when it comes to taking action for change or reining in difficult partners.

Part of the culture problem in most firms is generational — between the older partners, who have gotten along doing things fine the old way, and the younger partners and associates who, feeling they have so much at stake in the competitive marketplace, are not tied to old habits and attitudes. To survive and thrive, many lawyers who are not inherent marketers or salesmen feel they must conform to new standards of thought, behavior, and performance, just to maintain their status, never mind get ahead.

Lastly, partners not retiring as often, is perhaps another reason, as in the post-2008 economic climate, attorneys may not be in a position to retire. Instead they choose to continue working and they maintain their old-style behaviors and attitudes that were once prevalent in a practice of law but are irrelevant in a business of law. Often, they create limited value and profit, yet expect to maintain the same level of compensation.

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Understand the Language of Your Audience

According to Linguist, Deborah Tannen, people have different conversational styles, influenced by the part of the country they grew up in, their ethnic backgrounds and those of their parents, their age, class, and gender. But conversational style is invisible. Unaware that these and other aspects of our backgrounds influence our ways of talking, we think we are simply saying what we mean. Because we don’t realize that others’ styles are different, we are often frustrated in conversations. Rather than seeing the culprit as differing styles, we attribute troubles to others’ intentions (she doesn’t like me), abilities (he’s stupid), or character (she’s rude, he’s inconsiderate), our own failure (what’s wrong with me?), or the failure of a relationship (we just can’t communicate).

Conversational rituals common among men often involve using opposition such as banter, joking, teasing, and playful put-downs, and expending effort to avoid the one-down position in the interaction.

Conversational rituals common among women are often ways of maintaining an appearance of equality, taking into account the effect of the exchange on the other person, and expending effort to downplay the speakers’ authority so they can get the job done without flexing their muscles in an obvious way.

When everyone present is familiar with these conventions, they work well. But when ways of speaking are not recognized as conventions, they are taken literally, with negative results on both sides. Men whose oppositional strategies are interpreted literally may be seen as hostile when they are not, and their efforts to ensure that they avoid appearing one-down may be taken as arrogance. When women use conversational strategies designed to avoid appearing boastful and to take the other person’s feelings into ac-count, they may be seen as less confident and competent than they really are. As a result, both women and men often feel they are not getting sufficient credit for what they have done, are not being listened to, are not getting ahead as fast as they should.

We apply this thinking when training on client service best practices noting client service is the most powerful of all business development strategies. When you understand the language of your audience, you have a better chance of building a meaningful relationship with them. 

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